the blog of Ebenezer Le Page

Are you proud of yourself, Kevin Delaney?

2012-02-10T20:13:00.003Z

http://www.sarksurgery.com/images/pdf/Sark_Dr_Statement_100212.pdf

Words cannot express my contempt for Kevin Delaney. In your own words, Kevin, go now, before you do any more damage.

Drug induced psychosis

2012-02-10T20:04:00.002Z

So much Delaney, so little time... it's going to take me a while to digest the frankly indigestible double dose of Delaney we've had this week. However, I would like to commend Mr Kevin Delaney's openness in sharing with us details of his visit to the doctor on 9 January. Since Kevin is so keen on discussing the details of Mrs Beaumont's illness, I am quite sure that he won't mind a little idle speculation on his own ailments. Any suggestions? I can only assume that whatever he has been given has had some pretty terrible side-effects; his erratic and unpleasant behaviour, for some time now a cause for alarm, has only become more noticeable since - well, since early January. Can this be a coincidence? What has the Sark Doctor given him?

Instructed by Kevin Delaney

2012-02-07T20:25:00.000Z

Oh, poor Gordon! 'I am instructed by Kevin Delaney', how humiliating! I cannot imagine ever agreeing to write those words myself, however much of the Barclays' money was being promised in return. Never mind though, let's have another look at exactly what Gordon had to say in yesterday's Guernsey Press. Click on the image for a closer view.

To my mind, by far the most interesting aspect of this is what Gordon does not say. In contrast to most of his letters, he does not actually threaten legal action. In fact he finishes rather tamely, with the statement that Kevin Delaney 'asks that you take steps immediately to give a more balanced account of events in Sark'. Leaving aside the inherent absurdity of Kevin demanding anybody to be more balanced, this falls well short of the usual hell and damnation/you will be sued unless you print an apology sort of thing we're used to. I think the Press know this too, hence the lack of any response to this 'instruction'. And I think Gordon knows that Kevin is on the way out, don't you?

If you're curious, Kevin...

2012-02-05T11:37:00.000Z

... you might also like to try this one. 139 current appointments for Mr John Trevor Greer Donnelly! Go on, it'll only cost you £18 or so, that must be about 2 minutes worth of Gordon 'Sliding' Dawes...

I'm only trying to help

2012-02-05T11:17:00.000Z

In the spirit of a 'modicum of cooperation' which Mr Kevin Delaney is so very desperate to bring to Sark, I would like to draw his attention to this list of 91 company directorships held, or formerly held, by his chum Mr John Donnelly. We know that Kevin is a fair man, and though John may be his friend - perhaps his only friend - we are sure that Kevin will see fit to mention these in his Newsletter, next time he decides to focus on the Sark Lark. Well, Kevin? I know you're out there...

Delaney and Donnelly, BFF

2012-02-04T17:52:00.002Z

As well as the mysterious Ms Claire Wiseman, the rather less mysterious Mr John Donnelly seems to have become a permanent fixture in the Sark Newsletter. Judging by the last three elections on Sark, Mr Donnelly is not a popular figure on the island, so we can only assume that he has finally seen the light and abandoned any hope of ever being elected. It can hardly be for want of cash that Mr Donnelly has signed up to the gutter press, since his formidable array of company directorships must surely bring in a bob or two. A pity about the unfortunate business with the Rwandan genocide, but hey, we all make mistakes, eh?

Mr Donnelly provides an entertaining view of Sark in the good old days, which strangely makes no mention of the enormous benefits derived by him and his family - and of course many others - from their ability to sign their names at the bottom of pieces of paper thrust in front of them after a good lunch. But by far the highlight of what we can only hope will be a weekly column is Mr Donnelly's claim that Mr Kevin Delaney 'is never heard voicing personal vitriol against the Beaumont family or indeed any of the other behind the scenes adversaries who are secreted within the system.' So, I guess I'm just hearing voices when I read the personal attacks on Diane Baker on pages 1, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 of the Sark Newsletter? In fact this must be Kevin's idea of 'the modicum of cooperation and common sense' which Mr Donnelly goes on to praise him for. To be honest, I find both of these comments so barkingly insane that I can only worry for Mr Donnelly's mental health. I would suggest emergency evacuation, in a strait jacket, preferably in the bilges of the Flying Christine. And for God's sake don't bring him back.

Laboratory vintage

2012-01-29T11:26:00.002Z

As mentioned by my esteemed colleague, Lunchtime O'Booze, the Guernsey Press on Saturday 28th January carried an incisive two page report describing Oz Clarke's visit to the Sark vineyards, sadly unavailable online. For those of you lucky enough to get the paper copy - and can there really be a more effective way of wasting 45p? - you might just be able to make out Mr Kevin Delaney, the bashful, shy and retiring head of Sark Estate Management, sat in the back of the carriage with his new best friend Mr Oz.

Curiously, despite enjoying the privilege of Kevin's company for several hours, not to mention the chance to taste the laboratory vintage, Mr Clarke has been remarkably silent about the nouveau Chateau Delaney. Indeed it was only thanks to the indefatigable Bernie Costello, who still tweets occasionally, when she can be arsed, about Sark, that I was aware of Mr Clarke's visit to the sceptred isle. Way back on 8 December, Bernie tweeted about Mr Clarke's visit, providing a link to a charming photograph of Mr Oz. Looking, erm, fairly cold and fed up. Not to mention horizontal. Like any sensible Google stalker, I headed immediately to Mr Clarke's own website, where we find an announcement of his planned visit to Sark, together with a link to the fragrant Bernie's glowing video report, previously reported in these pages. But - nothing since! Not a whisper! Not a tweet! Has Mr Oz been struck down? Was his experience in Sark simply too awful to describe? Is he still in therapy? Wasn't he paid enough?

I can only assume that this weekend's puff piece in the Guernsey Press was a belated attempt to get some PR value out of Mr Clarke's visit, since the great man has so signally failed to announce to the world the arrival of Chateau Delaney. Never mind, there are plenty of others willing to fall for the dodgy PR - the 'winesleuth' being a case in point. 'I asked Alain about the wine tasting "salty" but he assured me that the vineyards are on such a high plateau that they are not affected much by the sea air'. Oh please... and let's not get started again on the schist, and the thin topsoil. But, on the positive side, look closely and you can see a photograph of the two small barrels of laboratory vintage!

Just how dumb is Kevin Delaney?

2012-01-28T19:58:00.000Z

Sark Newsletter, 20 January 2012. p. 4: 'there can only be one reason to copy-in Private Eye, and that is in the hope that they will launch a malicious and very public attack on the Barclay family...'

Sark Newsletter, 27 January 2012, p. 1: '[Sark's politicians] are vehemently against free speech and the freedom of the press - the very things that Private Eye stand for.'

What does Gordon think of all this?

2012-01-24T22:45:00.000Z

Just a quick thought, something which often crosses my mind while reading another load of bile in the Sark Newsletter. Kevin Delaney is a puppet, paid to be as offensive as he possibly can. Hence the parallels he would like to draw between 1930s Germany and Sark in 2012 - which I note we haven't had yet, still got that to look forward to. Presumably he's being the gentleman and waiting until Mrs Beaumont is sufficiently recovered to endure another concerted effort by Kevin to bully her husband. But what intrigues me most is not nasty little Kevin, or even the puppetmasters, who are so far removed from reality that they may genuinely believe themselves to be crusading for truth and justice. What crosses my mind, is... what does Gordon Dawes truly think of all this? How does he feel to be associated with Kevin and his malicious rag? Because whether or not Gordon regards himself as above all this, he's not - he's down in the sewer with the rest of them. And yet he's an intelligent man, so we are told, one of the best in the business. He must see what the rest of the outside world sees, and yet... I just wonder, that's all. What do you think of a comparison between 1930s Germany and Sark today, Gordon? Is that a fair and reasonable comment? Does it matter that Kevin Delaney publicised Mrs Beaumont's medical condition? What if it was an elderly relative of yours, Gordon? Just curious. It's just that sometimes I wonder how you sleep at night.

No comment required

2012-01-24T21:53:00.001Z

'It is, for example, universally known that the Barclays are staunch supporters of the freedom of the press and editorial freedom'. Sark Newsletter, 20 January 2012.

Welcome!

2012-01-24T07:50:00.001Z

Ebenezer would like to extend a warm welcome to Ms Claire Wiseman, latest addition to the staggering array of top class journalists employed by the Sark Newsletter. Ms Wiseman’s style is remarkably similar to that of Mr Kevin Delaney, and indeed to the late lamented Mrs Sharon Oliver, but any suggestion that Claire is Kevin in a dress is evidently absurd. Perhaps somebody on Sark could confirm that Ms Wiseman does really exist?

Jaonnet, January 2012

2012-01-16T17:03:00.009Z

No, I'm not sure what was in this either. You can try http://www.5i-tea.com/ if you want to find out, but be prepared to be a) patient and b) puzzled.

Welcome to Delaneyworld

2012-01-08T14:01:00.007Z

Unconfirmed reports from Sark suggest that as of this morning no Jews or homosexuals have been rounded up and deported to a 'holding camp' on Little Sark. Nor has every window along the Avenue been smashed, though somebody did have a go at Kevin's Christmas lights. There has as yet been no book-burning, although unread copies of the Sark Newsletter have reportedly been piled up in anticipation. There are rumours that a black teddy might win this year's sheep-racing, but the thoroughly white Kevin D out of Sark Estate Management and The Sooner the Better is popularly tipped for victory. Two old men have reportedly been seen pushing wheelbarrows of money in the general direction of Brecqhou, but this is believed to be simply the tax Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie have avoided paying during the past twenty-four hours.

Otherwise, 'the parallels between Germany in the 1930s and Sark in 2012' are so striking that it is a wonder nobody but Mr Kevin Delaney has spotted them before. Indeed I am at a loss to express my admiration of Mr Delaney's achievement in this regard, not to mention his tireless efforts to make himself look more of a complete shit than one would ever have thought possible. I have tried long and hard in this blog to laugh at Kevin and his silly ways, and above all to avoid descending into the sort of name-calling with which he peppers the Sark Newsletter. But, let's be honest - Kevin Delaney is a shit, pure and simple. And that's all there is to it.

A cry from the heart

2012-01-04T17:13:00.006Z

Picture the scene: a cold, damp night just a couple of days before New Year. Poor Kevin Delaney shivers in his hovel, lit only by the gentle green glow* of a helicopter pad, trying to think of some nasty things he can say about people. And what does he come up with?

'A man so full of his own inflated ego that he is incapable of seeing what the rest of the Island sees, that he is merely a puppet and will be spat out and discarded when his Feudal masters determine that he has reached his sell-by date.'

Oh! the irony! Kevin, you've surpassed yourself!

* it was very obvious flying over Sark at about 5.30pm last night. Was there an emergency, or was this Kevin's very own contribution to Sark's Dark Skies?

Sark on ARTE

2011-12-28T16:59:00.008Z

My thanks to Anonymous for his/her kind words and also for pointing me towards the ARTE documentary here. I think it will be available for a while yet, or at least till Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie get wind of it and let loose their attack dog Dawes to sue ARTE for their every last euro. Let's hope that an English language version gets broadcast, but in the meantime we can all enjoy the stunning photography, and French and German speakers will get the full benefit. There's only a fleeting glimpse of Mr Kevin Delaney, about 25 minutes in, as Cecil B. DeLooney has kindly warned us. Interestingly the commentary at this point says that Mr Delaney did not wish to be interviewed for the documentary. I guess he just didn't have the control over the end product that he would wish, but in the words of, err, Mr Kevin Delaney, 'The free press is the biggest headache of non-democratic regimes all over the world'. How very true, eh, Kevin?

No Happy Christmas for Ban Ki-moon

2011-12-24T11:16:00.004Z

Ban Ki-moon is reported to be deeply upset that his regular correspondent from Sark, Mad Kevin Delaney, has left him off his Christmas card list. After putting up with unmitigated tripe for the past year, it seems churlish not to send Ban a personalized greeting on the Sark Newsletter. Alas, Kevin has simply ignored him. What a cad. Expect a detachment of UN peacekeepers soon (and about time too, some might say). Meanwhile, Ebenezer is about to start eating for the foreseeable future, and would just like to wish all his readers a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Even you Kevin, because quite honestly life would be so much duller without you, if a lot more pleasant. Happy Christmas!

PS

2011-12-16T19:35:00.002Z

Ban Ki-moon has just phoned in to ask for an update on the Post Office saga. And Jose Manuel Barraso is just dying to know how the 'laboratory vintage' is coming along. Come on Kev, do tell!

Catch him quick! Before he disappears!

2011-12-16T11:05:00.004Z

Alas, the latest Sark Newsletter sheds no light on the rumours of Kev's departure. But he's obviously thinking hard about the future, since his deranged response to a letter from Tony Ventress is dated 15 December 2012. Quite how a question about land reform can elicit the response that Mr Ventress should be worrying more about 'the potential for paedophile activities' is beyond me, but no doubt Kevin will explain for those of us unable to follow the inner workings of his most extraordinary of minds. When he's sorted that out, I suppose Mr Ventress will have his work cut out in solving the problem of Sark's 'disreputable off-shore "financial services" industry', but no doubt he can call on Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie to explain exactly what advantages residence on an off-shore tax-haven can bring, and why that's a very bad thing indeed. Naturally the brothers Barclay make no use of these advantages, but cheerfully cough up many millions of pounds in taxes every year, simply because they love to help those less fortunate than themselves. They have, after all, spent a fortune on Kevin.

Elsewhere, Mr Delaney does a blatant job of misquoting Dr Richard Axton, claiming that 'In his final paragraph, Dr Axton states that his purpose in setting up this meeting was "that all Sark people might become more familiar with the terms of the Letters Patent of 1611"', which is not what Dr Axton says at all; he says that the public exhibition which has been going on since August was set up for that purpose, not the meeting which Kevin is so het up about. Ironically, this is apparently Mr Delaney's means of showing the 'gaping holes in Dr Axton's logic'. Try again, Kev! Try harder!

Can it be true?

2011-12-14T17:28:00.004Z

The Brecqhou Blogger has announced the imminent departure of Mr Kevin Delaney. Can it be true? Have all our Christmas wishes been answered?

Country Life part II

2011-11-25T18:28:00.011Z

With many thanks to Anon, I am able to bring you the recent Country Life column which has reportedly upset Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie. Looks like fair comment to me...

Meanwhile in the super soaraway Sark Beano, this week sees the usual hypocritical guff from Mr Kevin 'nobody loves me' Delaney. Complaining about an FT article about the Cayman Islands - which makes passing reference to the Sark Lark - Mr Delaney says that 'This is hardly good advertising for Sark'. So quite unlike the Sark Newsletter then, which of course paints an unremittingly positive view of the island on a weekly basis. At least it's getting quicker to read these days, such is the degree of repetition from one week to the next. Michael Beaumont, Post Office, Seigneurie, what Chief Pleas should look like, Ban Ki-moon, bullying, chuck in a few ads and Bob's your uncle. Blimey Kev, your dog could write this stuff. Perhaps it does?

Country Life

2011-11-19T22:12:00.004Z

I understand that a recent issue of 'Country Life' included a column by Kit Hesketh-Harvey which has caused no end of upset to Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie. Does anybody out there have a copy?

Repetitive and malignant

2011-11-18T20:35:00.006Z

'A more uncaring and callous place would be hard to find'. Yes, Mr Kevin Delaney is singing the praises of his adopted home again. Among other gems in the latest Sark Newsletter, I enjoyed Kevin's tacit admission that most people are anti-SEM: 'The anonymous writer appears to believe that Sark is "equally divided". The Sark Newsletter has no way of confirming that...'. Well, quite - I'd say the division is about 80% of the population against and 20% for, judging from the election results of the last few years.

What else? Well, 'SEM does not exercise abuse of power, bullyng (sic) or intimidation on the Island's people. On the contrary, it seeks to bring employment to the Island...' - just like SEM sacking most of its workforce after the first election, then? But, hang on - islanders are going to be allowed to work part-time in 'the new laundry'! I suppose that must be one of the jobs which Kevin promises will give 'great promotion prospects'. Why thank you, Mr Delaney!

If I catch you I'll hurt you

2011-11-13T12:33:00.004Z

Fortress Barclay disappears!

2011-11-05T14:00:00.005Z

A few months ago, the States of Guernsey published its 'Official Map' of the Bailiwick of Guernsey, available as they say in all good bookshops, and direct from digimap, who state that 'The Guernsey Bailiwick mapping is created by the States of Guernsey and we are responsible for its marketing, sale and distribution'. And a very fine map it is too. But, hang on a minute - what's happened to Fortress Barclay? It's not there! Nor are any of the ancillary buildings, where the likes of Kevin Delaney and Gordon Dawes are hosed down before being granted an audience with Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie. What's going on? Look across the water to Sark, and every last shed is shown. Brecqhou: not a sausage. So exactly how did the Brothers get away with this one?

Kevin Delaney: full of schist?

2011-11-04T19:47:00.010Z

My God, but this week's Sark Beano is DULL. There was a time when we could rely on Mr Kevin Delaney to come up with something new and entertainingly deranged on a weekly basis, but yet again this week we're treated to a stale rehash of old news, clippings from the Guernsey Press and adverts for SEM's hotels. Still, at least Ban Ki-moon will soon be fully appraised of the situation at Sark Post Office, no doubt breaking off from the relatively minor developments in Libya, Syria, the ongoing economic crisis etc. to come and sort out 'this centre for pro-feudalism activists'.

I would have liked to have seen a bit more of the Terre de Vins article, rather than rely on Kevin's 'approx. translation', but sadly it doesn't feature on their website. I am grateful to Lunchtime O'Booze, however, for directing me towards http://vimeo.com/31176438, featuring Mr Delaney in his finest tweed, and the fearless investigative journalism of one Bernadette Costello, who has been tirelessly plugging Sark's new vineyards on her Twitter account. As mentioned in a previous comment, I am a little concerned about Kevin's grasp of Sark's geology - schist and sand, really? - but since I suspect the whole winery operation is based in cloud cuckoo land, I don't suppose it really matters. I do wonder though just how long the Barclay Brothers will continue to throw away quite so much money for so little reward... can't they see that Kevin Delaney has had his day?

Le nouveau Chateau Delaney est arrivé!

2011-10-29T09:46:00.013+01:00

Stop picking on Kevin!

2011-10-25T19:44:00.008+01:00

Just a quick comment today because Arbiter Doolally has already written so eloquently about last week's super soaraway surreal Sark Newsletter. I can only agree with Arbiter that the rant about the Sark Post Office surely represents one of Mr Kevin Delaney's finest moments yet. Here is a man who has made it his business to be as aggressively rude as possible about anybody whom he regards as anti-Sark Estate Management, whether or not they are particularly active in their opposition. This is the man who closed down SEM after his favoured candidates were comprehensively beaten in the first Sark election. This is the man who has spent three years producing a weekly torrent of abuse which he does his best to ram down the throat of everybody on Sark - and if you don't want to read it, well, you'll just get singled out for more abuse. And now, would you believe it, people ARE BEING RUDE ABOUT KEVIN IN THE POST OFFICE!!! HAVE THEY NO SHAME??!!!
PS where are his ever-present security guards when this is happening? Couldn't they sort out a few truculent OAPs?

Sour grapes

2011-10-20T18:26:00.005+01:00

By anonymous email today I received a mysterious picture, pixellated almost beyond recognition. But thanks to the miraculous power of Photoshop, I have been able to clear just enough of the pixellation to establish the identities of these four splendid chaps: none other than Sir David 'Monaco Dave' Barclay, Mr Gordon 'Blue Nun' Dawes, Mr Kevin 'Whine Box' Delaney and Sir Frederick 'Swiss Freddie' Barclay. The setting is thought to be the basement garage of Fortress Barclay, and these four bins are believed to contain the 2011 vintage of the Sark vineyards. Bottoms up!

Kevin's chopper rises again

2011-10-15T22:06:00.010+01:00

Much to the surprise of, err, nobody at all, the mysterious circular turf-cutting at the Moinerie cotil is this week revealed as... a helipad! But, note, 'the lighting is not permanently installed and therefore not in breach of the Island's planning laws'. Well, I imagine lawyers of the calibre of, say, Gordon Dawes could litigate about that one till kingdom come. Interestingly, in his letter of 19 September 2011, reproduced in the Sark Beano of 23 September, Gordon Dawes states that

'In any event there is no development being undertaken at the Cotil. My client is entitled to cut turf, re-compost and re-sew (sic) in whatever shape it (sic) chooses. Please let me have your legal authority for saying that such works, in whatever shape or form, constitute "development" if you disagree. These are neither building, engineering, mining or "other operations"; nor is there any change of use resulting from the mere cutting of turf and re-sewing (sic)".

Now, clearly I do not have the razor-sharp legal mind of Gordon Dawes, nor am I paid squillions by a couple of deluded megalomaniacs in Monaco to write stroppy letters, but one or two things puzzle me. If the lighting is simply laid out on the ground surface, why bother to cut a circle of turf in the first place? I could understand a circle being mown to make the lights a little more visible, but why 'cut turf... and re-sew'? Or is there some sort of power supply laid beneath the turf? In which case perhaps a little more took place than 'the mere cutting of turf and re-sewing', eh ? The picture on the back of the 23 September Beano appears to show six or eight inches of soil removed, and I must admit I'm mightily puzzled why this was necessary before laying a few green lights on the surface. No doubt Mr Kevin Delaney will be keen to explain exactly how it works, and how making the cotil suitable for use by helicopters - even temporarily - does not amount to a 'change of use'. Over to you, Kev!

The heart bleeds

2011-10-08T18:06:00.008+01:00

Poor, poor Kevin! One can hardly fail to be moved by Mr Kevin Delaney's tearful account of his predicament, as revealed in all its harrowing detail in the latest Sark Newsletter. I must admit the last time I saw him in the Avenue he appeared to be entirely on his own, but as he tells us that he has to be accompanied 'at all times' by security, I can only assume that there was some cloak and dagger business going on - perhaps the 'tourist' who tried to run me over on his bicycle was a Brecqhou special operative, tasked with protecting Kevin?

It hardly seems worth commenting on the absurdity of Kevin whinging about harassment and intimidation. For anybody reading this for the first time, Kevin has been harassing and intimidating a large proportion of the population on Sark for a good three years now, on a regular weekly basis. New conseiller Hazel Fry is the latest recipient of this treatment, because she has foolishly asked not to receive the Sark Newsletter. Thus she is automatically added to Kevin's hate/hit list, and can look forward to a good slagging off when Kevin gets bored with the usual targets.

As ever, I suppose it is too much to hope for that a Barclay Brother will wake up one day in their monumental folly and think - 'Kevin Delaney? Why?'

The last day of summer

2011-10-08T17:45:00.003+01:00

From the back (sorry, stern) of a Condor ferry last weekend.

Melolontha melolontha

2011-10-06T21:18:00.007+01:00

Haven't had a bug on here for ages. Here's a May bug from earlier in the year, spotted during the Sark Folk Festival.

Round and round in circles

2011-10-04T21:17:00.007+01:00

My apologies to Mr Kevin Doolally and others - I do try to keep up with the hectic pace of events on Sark, but real life does occasionally intrude. And too much Delaney is bad for you, it's scientifically proven. Anyway, after a couple of weeks of pondering I think I've solved the mystery of Mr Kevin Delaney's curious circular returfing exercise. But before revealing all, let's just look a bit more closely at this strange episode. According to Kevin, work started on the morning of Monday 19 September 'to dig out a circular band of grass, compost the soil and re-sow the area with grass'. Obviously it is a complete coincidence that this circular band of grass should be just about the right size for a helicopter landing pad; doesn't everybody returf in circles? Well, no, actually, but let's continue. Hardly had the work started than Mr Antony Dunks and Mr Paul Williams turned up and ordered it to stop, 'convinced that work had started to establish a permanent helipad that could operate in all weathers'. This, obviously, was a complete misapprehension, although Kevin is curiously reluctant to offer any alternative explanation other than to imply that it is every man's right to returf his grass as he wishes. And if that's in a circle, all well and good.

But to return to the 19 September. 'Without basis in law, without forethought and without even bothering to find out what was in fact going on, Mr Dunks marched up to the cotil with a fellow Conseiller and the Constable in tow in order to "get at" SEM - and in order to ensure that the people of Sark are deprived of the right to have a faster way of being evacuated from the island and a better chance of survival in a medical emergency.' My emphasis there. But hang on a minute! So it is for a helicopter landing pad? Mr Dunks and Mr Williams are being blamed for the Sark people losing out on a helicopter pad, which Mr Delaney would not dream of building at the Moinerie cotil without planning permission, which he is not building anyway, because he's simply returfing, in a circle...

No sooner had work stopped than Kevin was on the blower to his old friend Gordon 'what's the scores?' Dawes, since his letter to Mr Dunks is dated the same day, 19 September. I guess when Kevin phones, even Gordon Dawes jumps; they're both puppets on the same Barclay Brothers strings, after all. Must be a bit humiliating, but think of the money, eh?

Now where were we? Oh yes, the mysterious circular turf cutting. Well, I can only conclude - given that it cannot possibly be for a helipad, although by stopping the work Mr Dunks and co have forfeited Sark's right to a helipad - that the turf had been worn out by Kevin walking round, and round, and round, desperately thinking up more and more insane drivel to fill the pages of his Newsletter. Honestly, can you think of a better explanation?

More hypocrisy

2011-09-18T21:46:00.010+01:00

Another week, another dose of top class hypocrisy from Mr Kevin Delaney, victim of a concerted campaign of bullying on Sark. Nothing at all like the past 106 issues of the Sark Newsletter then, edited by, err, Mr Kevin Delaney... quite how Kevin has the nerve to complain about 'unacceptable bullying, harassment and strong-arm tactics' is beyond me, but then much of what Kevin says is quite frankly beyond human understanding.

A good example is Kevin's rather curious concept of time, particularly in relation to 'time served' on Sark. A few weeks ago Jan Guy and Sue Daly were roundly criticised for 'wearing their credentials on time served in Sark as some sort of qualification'. This week in the Beano, who should join the long list of Sarkees who haven't lived there long enough to qualify to do anything, much, but... the Seneschal! Well, there's a surprise, because until now Kevin has been so positive about Lt-Col. Reg Guille. Kevin himself, despite being something of a recent arrival - three or four years or so? - is eminently qualified to comment on every aspect of Sark life, although even his qualifications pale by comparison with those of his employers. Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie seem to have spent barely 24 hours on Sark between them, and that mostly in the days before they were bankrupt painters and decorators, but that seems to have qualified them to force the biggest changes on the island in the past four hundred years.

What worries me is that before very much longer, Kevin himself will have spent so much time on the island that he too will be disqualified from voicing an honest opinion. And where would that leave us?

The biggest bully on Sark

2011-09-11T18:54:00.011+01:00

Kevin Delaney is on top form this week. Even by his standards, the level of hypocrisy is quite jaw-dropping. Where to start? Page 2 perhaps, 'You can be harried, bullied and abused into submission...'? Surprisingly, Kevin is not referring to the harrassment, bullying and abuse that he dishes out on a weekly basis, paid for by his apparently oblivious employers Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie. 'The Sark Newsletter will continue to expose this nasty and deplorable culture...' is all very laudable, except that the Newsletter and its editor are generating a culture quite as nasty and deplorable as anything conjured up by Kevin's so-called 'feudal fundamentalists'. Same page: 'People... are aware of the intimidation not only directed at themselves but also at members of their families but they are afraid to speak out for fear of retaliation'. What better description could there be for the HR policy of Sark Estate Management, dir. Kevin Delaney?

It's not all doom and gloom, however. Kevin provides a welcome boost for Rosanne Guille's election chances - not in so many words, of course, but simply the fact that she gets a trashing on the back page should ensure she receives extra votes. As for Kevin's gripes, well, he could equally have asked the same questions of his chum John Donnelly, but yet again Kevin's curious selective amnesia seems to have kicked in where his old mucker Donnelly is concerned.

Chateau Delaney

2011-09-04T11:39:00.007+01:00

I preferred the gorse, the bramble and the bracken. As no doubt did the wildlife which is now conspicuously absent from this part of the great Chateau Delaney estate. Still, if it keeps Fortress Barclay in plonk, it must be worth it, right?

Third time lucky?

2011-08-31T19:29:00.007+01:00

Far from being downhearted at two rejections - so far - by the Sark electorate, Mr John Donnelly is gamely throwing his hat in the ring again, for the by-election on 14 September. In last week's Sark Beano, we had the benefit of his manifesto. Like all the best wannabe politicians everywhere, there is a great deal of talk about 'mending bridges', the 'benefits of change', 'working together constructively' - all the usual platitudes without much indication of how this is actually going to work. Not one of the questions asked by John's chum Kevin Delaney on the first page of the Beano is answered in the manifesto. But somehow I doubt that Kevin will be taking him to task. Kevin seems to suffer from a curious selective amnesia where his chum John is concerned. I've drawn attention before to Mr Donnelly's fine collection of directorships, a subject guaranteed to raise Kevin's hackles. Strangely, not a word of criticism of Mr Donnelly ever appears in the Sark Newsletter. Why could that be, I wonder?

Where does the time go?

2011-08-03T17:11:00.006+01:00

Apologies for being away for so long. Perhaps it was too much Rocquettes cider at the excellent Sark Folk Festival. Or perhaps it was just despair at the depths plumbed by 'chippie in a suit' (overheard at the Moinerie, in case you're wondering) Kevin Delaney. I was all set to comment on Kevin's contemptible comments about the late Mr Mark Lanyon, and whether or not he could have been saved by the Brecqhou helicopter, but found the whole episode so depressing - and in particular the loathsome Delaney's use of a family's tragedy for his own political ends - that I thought it best just to shut up. And let Kevin dig his own hole, which he has done with his usual tact and sensitivity. If we needed confirmation of just what a deeply unpleasant man he is, this episode has surely provided it.

Kevin's chopper drops off

2011-08-01T17:19:00.005+01:00

Great consternation on Sark this weekend. For what seems like an eternity Mr Kevin Delaney has been boasting about his chopper, ready to spring into action at the slightest opportunity. This week - nothing! Not a sausage! Can he have suffered some terrible accident?

Meanwhile on the Kevin Delaney Hypocrisy Watch: Kevin never fails to mention that Mr Charles Maitland has been resident on Sark for only a few years - just a little longer than Mr Delaney, I believe - as if this disqualifies him from having any valid opinion about the island. Kevin, of course, has nobly restrained himself from making any comment whatsoever about Sark until he settles in. And yet in the latest super soaraway Sark News, Jan Guy and Sue Daly are condemned for 'wear[ing] their credentials on time served in Sark as some sort of qualification' - in Ms Guy's case, 22 years, or some six or seven times as long as Mr Delaney. You can't have it both ways, Kevin! If Mr Maitland's 'time served' is such a big issue for you, why complain when others make a point of mentioning their 'credentials' in this way?

Green about the gills

2011-05-15T10:59:00.018+01:00

Last Friday's super soaraway Sark Comic is mostly a frantic attempt by Kevin Delaney to claw back some of SEM's supposed green credentials, following the recent gorse-burning debacle (perhaps the first time 'gorse' has made the pages of Private Eye? As it's not available online, I hope Lord Gnome won't mind if I reproduce the article here). These green credentials include a laudable attempt to improve the processing of s*** on Sark, which many people might suggest has increased dramatically in volume since the arrival of, erm, Kevin Delaney.
However. What really sticks in the craw is being lectured by an employee of the Barclay Brothers about green issues. To take just one tiny example, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's quite some time since Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie have been spotted making much use of public transport, isn't it? Indeed my sources suggest that the only reason they have failed to visit their most-favourite-place-in-the-world-which-just-happens-to-be-a-tax-haven more often is because there is no regular public transport between Brecqhou and Sark. They've often been spotted at the bus stop on the Brecqhou quay, waving frantically at George Guille as he hurries past, just out of range of the machine guns, but for some reason he never stops. As a consequence they are forced to make extensive use of a helicopter, although I believe it is powered by composted copies of the Daily Telegraph.

As for Fortress Brecqhou itself, one wonders how many millennia of carbon-offsetting will be required to compensate for the construction of that monstrosity? Perhaps SEM's message of greener than thou would be a little easier to take if it didn't ultimately issue from such a monstrous example of human hubris, built in the mistaken belief that the environment of a small rock in the English Channel is simply a minor hurdle to be overcome. I take some consolation from the thought that years from now, Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie will just be bogeymen in stories to frighten the local children; the ruins of Fortress Brecqhou will become home again to seagulls and rabbits. No empire lasts for ever, however many Barclay Vouchers you flog to the unsuspecting natives.

Fort George (and Castle Cornet)

2011-05-09T18:32:00.003+01:00

Phragmatobia fuliginosa

2011-05-01T17:39:00.003+01:00

I had an aged relative who looked a bit like this, with a fox fur draped around her shoulders. This is the Ruby Tiger.

Commercial jetty

2011-04-24T15:40:00.003+01:00

More hypocrisy

2011-04-01T20:29:00.004+01:00

Friday again and I've barely caught up with last week's super soaraway Sark News Comic, let alone this week's hot off the press April Fool special. After all, the 'open letter' to the Seigneur on the front of this week's comic can only be an April Fool - Kevin Delaney knows that he won't get a response, so in another week or two he can claim that the Seigneur fails to respond and we're back into the usual autocratic, despotic 'feudal fundamentalist' rhetoric. Except that 'rhetoric' dignifies what Kevin writes far beyond its due. And why should the Seigneur respond, after the slagging off he gets from Kev on a weekly basis?

Anyway, to go back to last week's comic for a moment or two. This included a couple more outstanding examples of hypocrisy on Kevin's part. For months and months he's been banging on about the staff accommodation block for Stock's Hotel, probably the biggest blot in western Europe since, erm, since his employers built that monstrosity on Brecqhou. Last week, however, we were granted a sneak preview of the proposed replacement for the Orchard Block at the Dixcart, which I would estimate at about three times the height and twice the width of the admittedly not very pretty single storey shack it's intended to replace. Bigger is clearly better when it's your own project, eh Kevin? But even that pales in comparison to the proposals for the new Beauregard hotel. Kev makes much of the fact that this is 'approx. the same height as the old hotel', while curiously neglecting to mention that it seems to be about three times wider. Just an oversight, I'm sure.

Kevin is also strangely silent this week on the subject of the Sark Lark. I suppose it must be taking him some time to work out which of his friends are in on the scam, and no doubt when he does, the sword of truth and justice etc etc will come down upon them. It's going to be a painful separation for him and Mr John Donnelly, I suppose, but I'm sure Kevin won't duck his duty.
I must admit, when I mentioned Mr Donnelly in the last post, I was hardly prepared for the torrent of information that would come in - and my sincere thanks to the contributors for that, it makes for fascinating if depressing reading. I was particularly intrigued by the notion of 'Barclay Vouchers', which my long-lost cousin Margaret Le Page turned up in a Times article from some years ago. I hope she won't mind if I provide a direct link to the article, here. Kevin must have an enormous stack of these under his bed by now, I imagine. Well, they'll be useful when you're shunted off to Japan, Kevin. It's on the same latitude as the Loire, I believe.

The freedom of the press blah blah blah

2011-03-20T09:42:00.007Z

Mr Kevin Delaney is very fond of plastering his 'newsletter' with ringing declarations about the 'freedom of the Press'. This is all very well, but there are freedoms and freedoms, eh Kevin? If somebody is foolish enough to express an opinion contrary to that of Sark Estate Management, it's only a matter of time before Kevin's comic will get you in its sights. This has been an extraordinarily quick process for Margaret Le Page - no relation, but then I suppose all us Le Pages are related somehow - who had the temerity to post a few anti-Barclay comments on the Guernsey Press website. Lo and behold, this week's Sark comic has two pages of anti-Margaret diatribe. I suppose H.E. Sir David 'Monaco Dave' Barclay and H.E. Sir Frederick 'Swiss Freddie' Barclay know what they're paying Kevin for, but is this really a valuable use of Kevin's precious time? Shouldn't he be out tending his vines or something? Helping old ladies across the road? Polishing the SEM tractors?

Continuing in the 'don't do what I do, do as I say' vein, there have been a couple of splendidly hypocritical pieces in the recent Sark comics. In the past, Kevin has been very clear that there is no place for anonymous criticism of his employers. However, he is all too happy to use anonymous criticism of what he calls the 'Alliance' - most recently Edric Baker, firmly in his sights in comic no. 75. We are also treated on a regular basis to Kevin's thoughts on the Sark Lark. It's a bad thing. Those who participate should be named and shamed. Only Kevin keeps forgetting to name and shame his chum Mr Donnelly, who as we have seen is a dab hand at company directorships himself. This cannot be anything to do with the cosy relationship between Kevin and John, can it? Mr Donnelly can always be relied upon for a supportive letter in the Guernsey Press, and benefits handsomely, I imagine, from filling his self-catering accommodation with SEM employees.

While Ebenezer is certainly no supporter of the Sark Lark, he finds slightly odd this continual call for clarity and openness from Mr Delaney, speaking of course on behalf of the brothers Dave and Freddie. Why, Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie's openness about their financial dealings is well nigh legendary. Many Sark inhabitants speak with fondness of the sight of these two elderly men, helping each other down the Avenue to the NatWest every Friday, to draw out a few fivers from their measly State pension. Very often, their charitable nature simply overcomes them, and they end up giving away all these fivers to the local urchins, who skip gaily along behind them on their way back to Brecqhou, and so it's another week on mouldy bread and cheese left over from feeding the prisoners in the dungeons. It is widely believed, in fact, that Monaco Dave and Swiss Freddie are so very open about their financial dealings that a simple SAE forwarded to one of the several tax havens with which they have unaccountably fallen in love will suffice for a full and frank disclosure of every last penny in their NatWest Current Plus accounts. I'm sending mine off now.

The Morris Men of Monaco

2011-02-28T18:21:00.006Z

An extraordinary rumour has reached me, concerning the latest addition to the line-up for the Sark Folk Festival. The Morris Men of Monaco are being flown in especially from, err, Monaco. While on Sark they will perform the famous Monegasque Morris dance, never before seen in public, but which is believed to involve beating Mr Kevin Delaney about the head and upper body with a stout stick. Demand for this performance is bound to be high, and I recommend that you buy your tickets at once.

Eristalis pertinax (?)

2011-02-20T22:34:00.007Z

Clearing up some old images, and continuing the theme of bestioles, this is a hover fly from last summer. I think it's Eristalis pertinax but the finer points of hover flies are a bit beyond me, so if you know better, let me know... below is a more useful image for identification.

Harmonia axyridis

2011-02-17T19:30:00.006Z

Continuing an occasional series of bestioles, I am pretty sure that this is Harmonia axyridis, otherwise known as the Harlequin Ladybird, a recent and not entirely welcome arrival in the British Isles. This one presumably survived the winter here without too much difficulty and emerged blinking into the light just last week.

The skills of Mr Kevin Delaney

2011-02-11T22:13:00.004Z

One of the problems with attempting to parody the Sark Newsletter is that so much of it is already a parody; what's the use of poking fun at something which is so demented in the first place? One thing caught my eye on flicking through the issue released today, however, and that is Kevin Delaney's heartfelt claim that he has 'skills and qualities' which have been overlooked, and which by rights should have secured him a place on the GP&A committee long ago.

Well, where on earth should we start? I have mentioned before his quite extraordinary skill in drawing boxes around things. He could certainly liven up the Minutes of Chief Pleas, which for too long have been completely bereft of boxes, not to mention arrows, ovals, or even occasional changes in colour. But surely he has other skills? I suppose he can probably be quite useful in putting paper in a printer, and perhaps with gentle encouragement could master the art of changing a toner cartridge, though I gather that at present a minion has to be brought over from Brecqhou to perform that task. I believe he does all his own folding, although I am not sure that stuffing envelopes is in his repertoire. I hesitate to mention the unfortunate drooling - which served him so well in sticking down stamps - but which has been rendered unnecessary by the issue of self-adhesives. He is able to walk, and indeed has been known to do a hop and a skip if tempted with a Polo mint. What more could GP&A need?

La Gran'mère

2011-02-01T21:41:00.010Z

God I hate this drizzle, it gets right into my bones...

Thanks for all the positive comments on previous posts, I will get back to Kevin and his wicked ways in Sark just as soon as I can find the time necessary to do justice to his impressive organ (© Private Eye).

Grudging apology of the year

2011-01-27T22:16:00.002Z

Apologies for the lack of anything much here for a while, it's been a busy couple of weeks. Anyway, here we are, eagerly anticipating tomorrow's Sark Newsletter, and I have barely had time to glance at last week's yet. But before it joins all the rest in the outside toilet, there are a couple of points worth mentioning. One is an early contender for the Kevin Delaney 2011 Award for Grudging Apology of the year. And the winner is... Kevin Delaney!
'Conseiller Edric Baker has been unable or unwilling to communicate this directly to the Sark Newsletter but he was at pains to clarify to the Assembly that he had in fact turned down the Beauregard golf course application and that it was only allowed on appeal to a tribunal.' Really, could an apology be more heartfelt?

I was also intrigued by Kevin's report that Janet Guy 'claimed to be "really hurt" by the Sark Newsletter describing her behaviour as "Stalin-like"'. One almost gets the impression he doesn't believe her, and yet his own recent experience of being compared to an evil dictator should surely have informed him just how painful this can be. Perhaps it's not quite the same when it's the Sark Newsletter casting the stones, eh? No doubt Kevin can provide some useful advice on pursuing criminal action against the wicked perpetrator.

La Bette

2011-01-23T21:40:00.005Z

A beautiful day on La Bette, surely one of the finest of our beaches. Not many podgy nudists at this time of the year.

Why Ambassador, you spoil us!

2011-01-16T22:19:00.006Z

The past week has brought such a deluge of Sark Newsletters - four of them, sixty-four pages in all - that one must take off one's hat in the general direction of Mr Kevin Delaney, indefatigable editor, and salute him for his extraordinary grasp of the key issues. I am particulary impressed by his ability to circle things and point arrows both to and from these circles, often in different colours.

I suppose the Newsletter which will attract the most attention is no. 67, which reproduces the private correspondence between the Seigneur, Mr Michael Beaumont, and Sir David Barclay, or as we must now learn to call him, His Excellency Sir David Barclay, Ambassador at Large to the Principality of Monaco. That's a bit of a mouthful, so I think here we will just have to make do with 'Monaco Dave'. This is the correspondence between Monaco Dave and Mr Beaumont which was posted on the Sark government website on 10 January, and which Monaco Dave and his colleagues - Mr Delaney and Mr Dawes to name but two - were shocked and appalled to find made public. Mr Delaney, in particular, was so shocked and appalled - weeping inconsolably, I hear - that three days later, after a quick refresher course in advanced arrow and circle drawing, he reproduced the whole lot in his own Newsletter, presumably to ensure that many more people could be shocked and appalled.

Well, I am shocked and appalled. Monaco Dave's grammar is dreadful. From his letter of 22 November 2010: 'I emphasise again the purpose of the meeting is to establish a better relationship, remove any misunderstandings and contention [sic] issues to put behind what has been said and done in your interest as the Seigneur and the island's future' [sic] [eh?]. It's not much better a week later, on 29 November 2010: '... and no elected [sic] member of the House of Lords has gone unscathed at some time or other in their political carrier [sic] in many cases unjustifiably so similarly, [sic] from time to time members of the Royal family have been subject to vitriolic [sic], presidents and prime ministers such as President Obama, Prime Minister Berlusconi and President Sarkozy are also subject to it in the media throughout the world.' Thank goodness Monaco Dave suggested a few of the better-known world leaders there, since I imagine that tucked away in his Seigneurie, Mr Beaumont may never have heard of them. Incidentally, I wonder whether Monaco Dave considers that the vitriol aimed at Mr Berlusconi is entirely undeserved?

But I digress. The substance of Monaco Dave's letters has been quite widely discussed already in the Guernsey Press (here and here), and rather than adding to the already enormous numbers of shocked and appalled readers, I leave it to you whether you choose to take the risk of investigating this further. But be warned, the grammar is not for the fainthearted. Can't one of you chaps out there - Gordon or Kevin perhaps - have a word with your boss? And Kevin, perhaps a few suggestions about arrows and circles wouldn't go amiss?

What does Kevin do?

2011-01-11T18:03:00.006Z

I didn't really expect an answer to my question as to whether Sir David and Sir Frederick Barclay consider that employing Mr Kevin Delaney is money well spent, but I am quite surprised that they don't even appear to know what he is doing. That at least is the impression given in today's lengthy report in the Guernsey Press (mostly unavailable online): 'Sir David said he was not aware of the attacks the Seigneur referred to and would certainly not condone them...'. On the other hand, the 'Editorial policy of the Sark Newsletter' is item 6 on the agenda proposed by Sir David Barclay on 29 November 2010, which rather implies that he is aware that there is an issue... Has he really never seen the Sark Newsletter? What exactly does he pay Kevin to do? Judging by the content of the special edition of the Newsletter which has just appeared, he must be swotting up on his law studies, or could it be that somebody else provides that stuff, and Kevin just draws in the circles and the pretty arrows? While we are on the subject of legal swots, I did enjoy several of the comments by Advocate Gordon Dawes, the Barclay's legal hired help. 'The critcisms of the Sark Newsletter are in reality criticisms of a free press in Sark', he said. Could you tell me then, Gordon, what you think of last week's insinuations about the circumstances of Mr Arditti's helicopter crash? And your comment, referring to the publication of letters between Sir David Barclay and Mr Michael Beaumont, that 'You would not carry on diplomacy in this way': is the Sark Newsletter how you carry on diplomacy, Gordon? Or would you prefer to disassociate yourself from it?

The Press's reporting of all this is, as usual, laughably one-sided. The editorial comment reads as though it was phoned in by Kevin Delaney: 'While the Barclay family has been making strenuous efforts since at least 2009 in effect to call a truce and to work together for the benefit of Sark, there has been nothing but opposition to that.' So, those strenuous efforts would include paying a nasty little man to produce a weekly instalment of vitriolic abuse? Because the money that pays for the Sark Newsletter is ultimately coming from the Barclay brothers, whether they know what's in it or not. The editor of the Press goes on to say that the Sark Newsletter 'usually has a valid point to make'. Well, Mr Editor, does that include insinuations about helicopter accidents? How is that valid to the situation on Sark?

Personal abuse

2011-01-09T21:28:00.004Z

Still smarting from his failure to make anybody on Sark take any notice of what he says, Kevin Delaney has now resorted to what he does best: straightforward personal abuse. Making an early attempt to win the 2011 bully of the year award - as doled out by Mr Delaney himself, so he might be thought to have an advantage here - this malicious and vindictive man excels himself in this week's Sark Newsletter, which features four pages so relentlessly negative and unpleasant that one has to worry for Kevin's mental health. And imagine, he is being paid to produce this trash! Do Sir David and Sir Frederick Barclay really consider that Kevin is money well spent?

A blot on the landscape

2011-01-07T17:08:00.006Z

I had been wondering what was going on with the scaffolding on top of the old Post Office in Smith Street. All was revealed in the Press earlier this week - this is the view that will be blocked out if an unnamed retailer gets their way and adds another storey to the building. Even on a miserable, damp day like today this is a precious view through to Herm, Jethou and Sark. Don't be misled by the flimsy scaffolding which still lets you see through the gaps; the reality would be the loss of any view of the sea and the coast from the top of Smith Street, Ann's Place and St James Street. Please register your disapproval with the Environment Department, at env@gov.gg.

That's the (festive) spirit

2011-01-04T17:44:00.006Z

Our friend Kevin Delaney evidently had a good Christmas. His New Year's Eve message to his people is so chock full of festive goodwill that I barely know where to start. Um, how about page 8, where Kevin finally stops criticising people? What an extraordinary advert for Sark he provides. I particularly enjoyed the orienteering award of the year - this from the man whose winegrower thinks Sark is on the same latitude as the Loire - and as for the U-turn of the year, well, Kevin, just how many times now have you threatened to leave?

The hottest name in chafing dish fuel

2010-12-27T20:20:00.004Z

All the way from Shelbyville, Kentucky, to Jaonnet, Guernsey.

Happy Christmas!

2010-12-24T21:43:00.006Z

I'd like to wish everybody a very happy Christmas - whether you've commented on a post, whether you're just passing through and have enjoyed a photo or two, or whether you're the mysterious person from Hiscox Syndicates Ltd who checks the blog every morning and usually again in the afternoon (where were you this morning? Is that you, Kevin?). A particular greeting to those people whose livelihoods are threatened by the petty and vindictive bully on Sark. I hope you have a peaceful Christmas and a happy New Year. And if you need a bit of cheering up, I suggest that you head straight to gsyfutu for Ebenezer as you've never seen him before. A la perchoine!

The Second Great Snowfall...

2010-12-19T19:16:00.007Z

... of the winter of 2010 turned out not to be quite as overwhelming as the first one. Rumour has it that this was entirely down to the efforts of Mr Julian Winser, who was so ashamed by his asinine comments on the First Great Snowfall that he was out on the runway with his shovel as soon as the first flake touched down. He is believed now to be hard at work at Heathrow. I was lucky enough to get a few aerial shots yesterday and very pretty it looked too. You should be able to spot the Old Mill in St Martin's, the Friquet garden centre, the new Bourgs hospice and the Vauxbelets.

Atlas of remote islands

2010-12-18T20:36:00.005Z

I've just finished reading this superb book, certainly one of my favourites of the year. Judith Schalansky grew up in East Germany, fascinated by atlases and the worlds hidden within them:

'Anyone who opens an atlas wants everything at once, without limits - the whole world. This longing will always be great, far greater than any satisfaction to be had by attaining what is desired. Give me an atlas over a guidebook any day. There is no more poetic book in the world.'

Her short accounts of each of fifty islands are certainly poetic, presenting just a glimpse or two of some aspect of the island, its discovery, history, geography or the strange islandophiles - or islandophobes, sometimes - who have lived there.

Once I'd finished the book, I had to spend a couple of hours zooming around Google Earth to visit all the islands; I don't think this reduces the pleasures of the imagination that so fired up the writer as a child in the 1980s, before the Wall came down and these places became - in theory at least - less remote. Those that have stuck in my mind include Rapa Iti, with the bizarre story of Marc Liblin, seemingly fluent in a Polynesian language since his childhood in France; and the mystery of Scott Moorman's burial on Taongi Atoll. The book of the year for me.

Same old same old

2010-12-11T12:58:00.005Z

It would have been nice to find a new spirit of reconciliation in evidence in the first post-election Sark Newsletter. Alas, it's just more of the same. The first page starts reasonably enough, with selective quotes from the manifestos of three of the winning candidates commenting on 'the need to work together' and to achieve 'greater understanding and cohesion rather than division'. Great, one thinks, so what is Kevin Delaney's contribution to this? Turn over the page, and we're on to the usual personal attacks, on candidates successful and unsuccessful. How does this contribute to 'cohesion', Kevin?
I have been guilty in the past of assuming that there is some rationale behind Kevin Delaney's approach, some master plan - whether for good or for bad - which provides a reason for the prolonged and relentless criticism in his Newsletter of many people on Sark. I am afraid I was wrong. He is simply a deeply unpleasant man, and stupid to boot. There is no point in attempting to look more deeply into the weekly dosage of bile. It's a waste of time, a waste of money, a waste of paper. Thank goodness most of Sark knew this already.

When will he ever learn?

2010-12-09T09:04:00.002Z

I thought I might see Kevin Delaney stepping off the first boat from Sark this morning, but perhaps he still has a few things to tidy up before leaving... we wait with bated breath for the next Sark Newsletter, though surely even Kevin must realise there comes a point when it's just not worth it any more? I suppose if you're being well paid to churn out crap, and the alternative might involve a lengthy stay in the Brecqhou dungeons - or possibly a return to a life of woodturning in Essex - well, you just keep on churning it out...

Brrr

2010-12-06T17:45:00.005Z

A few pictures from last week. I know, not on Guernsey - that's Weymouth beach, and Portland, and a very cold Condor Express.

Arachnophobes, look away now...

2010-11-24T07:34:00.009Z

Who do these red knees and hairy legs belong to? No, not Kevin Delaney - well, not as far as I know, I I haven't had the pleasure. These belong to a huge example of Tegenaria, I would guess perhaps T. gigantea or T. saeva, better known as the house spider. Out of deference to those who are a bit less enamoured of these creatures than I am, I'll try and put the full-size picture here as a thumbnail which you can click on if you wish...

Mooching round town

2010-11-21T19:21:00.005Z

A few pictures from a sunny Saturday morning in town. The new house next to the Salvation Army hall has caused some controversy, but I think it actually fits in quite well - plenty of granite in the facade - and it's arguable whether it, or its brightly painted neighbour, makes more of an impact on the skyline.

You can judge a man...

2010-11-19T20:24:00.011Z

... by the companies he keeps. As the election on Sark draws closer, Kevin Delaney is sharpening his pencil and giving us the benefit of his views on the candidates. Well, so far two manifestos have dropped through his door and I think we can all guess what he has to say about that of Mr John Hunt, 'a relative newcomer to the island' who has lived on Sark only three times longer than Mr Delaney, as far as I can work it out. More interestingly, perhaps, is what he has to say - or not say - about Mr John Donnelly, source of the other manifesto. He mentions 'a rather beguiling photograph' and that he supports inward investment and, err, that's about it.

Curiously, given Kevin's fascination with this subject, he does not mention any of the directorships which the Companies Register tells us are held by Mr Donnelly. Many other residents of Sark have had their directorships listed in the pages of the Sark Newsletter, often on multiple occasions, but I guess that perhaps Kevin has just forgotten to ask. Would it help if I reminded him? As of this evening, www.192.com tells us that Mr Donnelly is Company Director of Water Vending Ltd and Wallington Square Management Ltd. He is also the Director of Parkstone Investments Ltd, Lightbrook Ltd and Kayegrove Ltd, and a Consultant for Kirkcrown Ltd. I don't think it's really necessary to mention his past involvements - why not let bygones be bygones? but on the other hand I had to pay £5.99 for this stuff, and Kevin seems to think it's legitimate to rake up the past when he has a go at others on Sark, so, take a deep breath...

former Company Director of Lacecare Ltd, Vialli Promotion Ltd, M-A-G Designs Ltd, Hercules (UK) Ltd, and Capacitor Holdings (UK) Ltd

former Director of Northpoint Trading Ltd, Mediaracing Ltd, Ten.Flar. Ltd, Eurolding Ltd, Swift Asset Management Ltd, and Actinvest International Ltd

former Manager of Kingston International Ltd

former Consultant for Universal Sourcing Ltd, Newplot Ltd, Trendaward Ltd, Mixdream Ltd, Vivaway Ltd, Beluga Enterprises Ltd, IMS International Medical Services Ltd, Iona Investments Ltd, Jaya Services Ltd, Rochdale Ltd, Topcross Investments Ltd, Ecopoint Investments Ltd, Vastlodge Ltd, Devogate Ltd, Comaser Ltd, Kensal Agency Ltd, Whiteoak Consulting Ltd, Grafton Designs Ltd, Tuli Safari Botswana Ltd, Savannah Investments Ltd, Netcorp Enterprises Ltd, Division Ventures Ltd, Whitby Ltd, T & C International Consulting Ltd, Spc Special Product Consulting Ltd, Ritehard Ltd, Findom Holding Ltd, Grass Meadow Ltd, Trafalgar International Ltd, Pegassus (sic) Securities Ltd, Leisure Investments Ltd, and Dalmane Investments Ltd.

Wow! I guess that's what's called 'inward investment'? I'd be quite interested to know what - if anything - some of these companies do, or did, but that sort of information gets a bit more pricey, so I'll leave it in Kevin's capable hands to do the research. Go for it, Kev!

Moo!

2010-11-01T18:49:00.002Z

Will he or won't he?

2010-10-25T18:21:00.005+01:00

As the next round of elections on Sark comes ever closer, there's just one question on everybody's lips. Amongst all the talk of who will stand and who won't, who's got a chance and who hasn't, the island is on tenterhooks because of one man. Kevin Delaney. Will he, or won't he?

Will Kevin Delaney threaten to leave the island? Again? Will it be
a) before the election?
b) during the election?
c) after the election?
d) all of the above?

Will he make his announcement
a) in the Sark Newsletter?
b) in a full page article helpfully printed by the Guernsey Press at just the right moment to influence the voters?
c) by asking John Hunt to put up a poster?
d) all of the above?

And, trickiest of all, will he actually leave?
a) no
b) no
c) no
d) err, all of the above?

Jellyfish

2010-10-22T19:54:00.004+01:00

Found this poor beast washed up at Pleinmont this afternoon. If anybody can tell me what species this is, please get in touch.

Welcome back, Phil Falle...

2010-10-18T18:40:00.009+01:00

Yes indeed, Sark's very own star of fearless investigative journalism is back in the Guernsey Press:

'Those who occupy the middle ground to which Peter Cunneen referred in this column while I was away on holiday will no doubt be hoping that the discussions on land reform will be held in a better and less acrimonious atmosphere than that which has bedevilled this small community for far too long. No doubt I will be in the firing line for daring to express such a view... Perhaps it was the fear of being rounded upon and bullied - sadly, that culture of bullying is not restricted to the young in Sark - that made the majority of those attending the public meeting reluctant to ask questions or express views.'

Where to begin? No, Phil. You will not be in the firing line for 'daring to express the view' that these discussions might take place in a better atmosphere. I don't think, possibly even in the topsy-turvy world of Kevin Delaney, that you will be fired upon for hoping for a less acrimonious atmosphere. Goodness knows you are sticking your neck out here, bravely expressing the view that we should all be nice to each other, but - and it's just a hunch, mind - I think you'll get away with your well-deserved reputation intact. But what's all this flim-flam about 'the culture of bullying... not restricted to the young in Sark'? Pray tell us, who are the old bullies? Do you mean the Seigneur and the Seneschal, who - according to Kevin Delaney - intimidate the good folk of Sark? Or do you mean - surely not - Kevin Delaney and Sark Estate Management, no strangers to what might politely be called an aggressive approach to the issues? Come out and say it! Or is the problem that you are being bullied too?

A lover spurned

2010-10-04T17:57:00.014+01:00

I couldn't help but think of this as I read Kevin Delaney's account of his recent speed-date with Lord McNally. Much to nobody's surprise at all, Lord McNally apparently had little time to listen to Kevin. After all Kevin's letters, too - what a cad!

Les Burons

2010-09-27T18:18:00.004+01:00

Oops, I've just noticed it says something up there about 'photos, mostly'. Sorry, I just get so carried away with the antics of SEM that I tend to forget. So here's one from the summer archive, as it happens also from Sark: Les Burons, off the east coast.

Sark welcomes Lord McNally

2010-09-24T18:58:00.009+01:00

We wait with bated breath to hear what Lord McNally made of his first trip to Sark. Who did he meet in the island hall? Did all that junkmail, sorry, all those billets-doux from Kevin pay off? Did their eyes meet across a crowded room? Did Kevin whisper in his ear, or did he keep his distance? As we wait to find out, let's just savour this week's stand-out quote from Kevin 'master of irony' Delaney:

'It's a shame that he or she did not have the courage to put his or her name to [a comment to the Guernsey Press] but this illustrates again the fear people in Sark have for going public. They are intimidated by the unfettered powers of the Seigneur and, in particular, the Seneschal.'

That must be one of your best so far, Kevin! Keep up the good work!

That'll tell him

2010-09-21T17:48:00.006+01:00

I haven't been very positive in the past about Phil Falle's Sark column in the Guernsey Press, primarily because most of it might as well be written by an employee of Sark Estate Management. Last week's, however, came the closest I think I've ever seen to actually criticizing SEM by name:

'... it is clear that [the Lord's Taverners cricket match] has fallen victim to the internal politics that have bedevilled this otherwise idyllic community in recent times and I make no apology for expressing that view, it's high time someone did. Tit for tat is a game for children and as such belongs in the playground, not in committee, court and boardrooms. Indeed, one wonders how many more noses will be cut off in futile attempts to spite faces before someone with a bit of leadership emerges from the shambles, bangs a few heads together and declares that enough is enough.'

Well, leaving aside the fact that actually quite a few people have been expressing this view, although it's gone strangely unnoticed in Phil's columns until now, fair play to him for raising his head above the parapet. A little bit. Experience would suggest that he will suffer for this in a future Sark Newsletter, alongside the usual suspects (and the Societe Sercquaise, who seem to be Kevin's particular hate figures this week. 'Strident political activism?' Oh come on... Elsewhere in the super soaraway Newsletter, I did enjoy Kevin's parallel between a few anonymous comments on the Guernsey Press website and a class action by more than 400 hotels and restaurants with bad reviews on Tripadvisor. A sense of perspective, Kevin?).

Anonymous, cowardly and utterly poisonous

2010-09-14T19:21:00.009+01:00

Ho hum, here we go again. Under this heading, the latest Sark Newsletter carries a stirring critique of cowards who use the internet to criticise Kevin Delaney and/or the Sark Estate Management under the cloak of anonymity. Interestingly, I actually agree with Kevin about at least one point - not something I can say very often, but more about that below. First though, let's consider Kevin's opening statement:

'It is often said that nobody in Sark will publicly voice an objection against the Sark Newsletter or “tell the truth” for fear of being sued by a “well funded” organisation. When will it occur to people that the truth will stand up in court and that nobody can be successfully sued for voicing their opinion?'

If only it were that simple. Kevin knows very well that to have the truth stand up in court, one needs an effective legal presence. Most islanders and others who care to comment on the situation in Sark simply cannot afford to employ the legal representatives who might stand a chance against the very expensive lawyers at the beck and call of Brecqhou. If it was that easy, don't you think - with all the antagonism now present on Sark - that we might have seen one or two more people standing up already? Instead they receive threatening letters from the lawyers as soon as they open their mouths/pin up a clipping from Private Eye/put up a poem about Barclay, Donnelly and Dawes. And since there are very few of us out here who can afford to risk standing up in court, still less without expensive legal representation, so we give in. Anonymous and cowardly, maybe, but the dice are loaded from the start and Kevin knows it.

I would have thought that the last thing Kevin should do, if this all gives him so much pain and torment, is to further publicize some of the criticism to be found on the internet. However, he goes on to give a link to a blog post which, I have to agree with him, is mostly deeply unfunny and all rather pointless - so why get so worked up about it? What is the point of complaining that it was 'publicized as widely as possible' - and then go on to publicize it still further? So that he can try and link it in people's minds to his usual targets, the Seigneur, the Seneschal, or 'somebody written about in the Newsletter, perhaps?'. And so the whole vicious circle goes on, given new momentum on a weekly basis by provocative comments in the Newsletter. Kevin - what is the point?

Waspish

2010-09-06T17:50:00.003+01:00

Christmas turkey

2010-09-05T09:55:00.011+01:00

The world of Sark Estate Management was rocked to its foundations on Friday, when the Guernsey Press's man in Sark, Phil Falle, wrote that 'it would have been nice to have interviewed [the mayor of Carteret] - or at least had a chat.' Few could have missed the searing criticism of Kevin Delaney, director of SEM, who neglected to inform the local media of the mayor's visit. Mr Falle is renowned for his take-no-prisoners approach to the big stories of the day - who could forget last week's tragic news that the Magell family turkeys would be eaten for Christmas? - but many in the island community fear that this time he has gone a step too far. Will he be joining Mrs S. Oliver for a chat in the dungeons of Fortress Barclay?

Argiope bruennichi

2010-09-01T18:01:00.003+01:00

Captured this magnificent beastie, otherwise known as a wasp spider, in Alderney last weekend.

'The freedom of the press is the guardian of democracy'

2010-08-28T11:23:00.004+01:00

Stirring words as ever from Mr Kevin Delaney. To give you the quote in full, 'The freedom of the press is the guardian of democracy, and it has never been more important and more necessary than it is today on the island of Sark' (Sark Newsletter 43). This must be why he and his colleagues are so very reluctant to instruct their lawyers to threaten legal action against Private Eye, the post-mistress, Mr John Hunt, a passing dog, indeed almost any living, breathing creature that has the tiniest gripe about SEM. But it's too easy to cherry-pick sentences from Kevin's newsletter. So here's another one. The Sark Newsletter apparently exists in part to question 'how people arrive to settle on the island with no references and no questions asked'. It is curious how the questions are always asked of those who seem to be inclined against SEM, rather than those who are for it. But no doubt this is merely an oversight on Kevin's part.

Much of this week's must-read publication gives the impression of Kevin on the back foot: several pages attempting to justify the Sark Newsletter and, curiously, distancing it from its predecessor, Mrs S. Oliver's Sark News. Indeed Kevin even makes the point that he was 'never the Editor of the old Sark News and is not responsible for anything written in that publication.' Could it be that Kevin realises he has gone just slightly over the top in recent weeks?

Meanwhile, rumours that Lord McNally has asked to be relieved of his position because of the relentless barrage of junkmail from Sark are totally unfounded.

Kerbs

2010-08-28T10:42:00.006+01:00

A Mr Taylor wrote to the Guernsey Press last week, complaining about the new kerbs on the Grange. He has a point. Where before we had attractive granite kerbs which fitted in well with their surroundings, now we have a long stretch - from Upland Road to Doyle Road - of these hideous pale concrete things. Was this really approved by the Environment Department, who are so keen to preserve the character of the town? I suppose that over time the concrete will darken, but even so it bears no comparison to the granite. And as a matter of interest, where have several hundred metres of valuable and attractive granite setts gone to?

Mrs Oliver lives!

2010-08-23T17:34:00.005+01:00

Imagine my surprise to open today's Guernsey Press, only to find a letter from the elusive Mrs S. Oliver. Mrs Oliver, who writes in a style which is almost uncannily similar to Mr Kevin Delaney, was last thought to be languishing in a dungeon in Fortress Barclay, but has apparently been released from 'her' chains to mount a stirring defence of the usual suspects, viz. SEM, the Sark Newsletter, Kevin Delaney, etc etc. She signs 'herself' as editor of Sark News, which to the best of my knowledge has been dormant since at least March of this year; indeed the last full issue seems to be from December 2008, shortly before infamous elections. One wonders exactly what 'she' does with the rest of 'her' time? Surely those astute businessmen on Brecqhou do not pay her a salary for such a risible output?

Damp squib

2010-08-07T19:56:00.005+01:00

Today's Sark Newsletter could only be something of a damp squib after the earth-shattering revelations of the last few days, and so it proves - another outing for Kevin Delaney's interminable letter about his poster-related trauma, plus the usual whinging about the harbour crane. I did enjoy one paragraph though, where he claims that he called in the Guernsey Police 'in an effort to stop the culture of bullying and intimidation by a handful of people on this island...'. Hmm. I'm off on my hols now, see you in a week or two.

Kevin Delaney calls in Ban-ki Moon

2010-08-06T21:52:00.007+01:00

Rumours that Kevin Delaney has sent a copy of his diatribe in today's Guernsey Press to Ban Ki-moon cannot currently be confirmed, but the Secretary General of the UN can rest assured that if Kevin can persuade the Barclay Brothers to come up with the price of a stamp, a letter will be winging its way shortly. In the meantime the Sec. Gen. will have to make do with catching up with the news in Private Eye, which does itself no favours whatsoever by reproducing the poster which has caused Kevin such anguish. Presumably Kevin will be ordering the Metropolitan Police to knock on their office door sharpish.

After a few hours calm, or at least calm-ish reflection on these matters, I must admit that I am still no closer to understanding quite what Kevin is up to. I refuse to believe for one second that he is genuinely upset by these posters - they simply serve as a useful excuse for him to continue his campaign of vilification of various Sark figures. If he achieves his aim of ridding Sark of the politicians whom he routinely denigrates in the Sark Newsletter, then by doing so he will ensure that a significant proportion of the island population will be even more strongly anti-SEM. If he doesn't achieve his aim, he does what - pull SEM out of the island? Thus ensuring that even more of the population turn against SEM. Is he still searching for revenge for the elections of 2008? Is all this really just an ongoing effort to destroy Sark because it didn't do what he and his paymasters wanted?

Kevin Delaney's head quite literally explodes!

2010-08-06T18:01:00.004+01:00

Well, not quite, but today has brought further startling developments in the ongoing Hitler poster crisis. Kevin is threatening to leave Sark, an announcement which seems to have been greeted by almost universal relief, at least by those careful to draw a distinction between the investment by Sark Estate Management - mostly a Good Thing - and the attitude of its director, Mr Delaney, mostly a very Bad Thing indeed. As ever the Guernsey Press comes down fairly and squarely on the side of Sark Estate Management, with an editorial comment which is breathtakingly biased even by their sorry standards. Which do you think is more 'deeply unpleasant': a few misguided posters, or week after week of vicious slander and innuendo in the Sark Newsletter?

Fearless investigative journalism?

2010-08-02T18:58:00.019+01:00

It was probably a bit much to expect the Guernsey Press to probe too deeply into the poster affair on Sark. But I wasn't prepared for quite such a one-sided view as that provided by the Press's man on the island, Phil Falle, last Friday. For some reason* this article isn't available via the online Press, so I've put a scan here.

Mr Falle barely stops to consider whether the actions of Kevin Delaney and Sark Estate Management were proportionate to the 'offence'. Nor does he for a moment consider that the weekly Sark Newsletter constitutes a far more damaging influence on island life than two or three rather foolish posters. In fact, now I come to think about it, has Mr Falle ever had a bad word to say about the Sark Newsletter? Perhaps he will correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember the slightest criticism of its tone or content, even in these past few weeks of relentless baiting of Mr Maitland, Mr Guille, the Seigneur and others. Well, I did try to ask Mr Falle these questions, but he proved reluctant to respond to somebody writing under 'a silly pseudonym'. In fact he told me that Ebenezer Le Page would be 'utterly appalled' by my cowardice in using this pseudonym. Leaving aside the interesting philosophical point of whether either of us are in a position to judge the views of a fictional character, one wonders what Ebenezer would have made of the poisonous Sark Newsletter, or of Mr Falle's particular take on these events?

* as regular online readers of the Guernsey Press will have noticed, most of the online articles may be commented upon; comments then appear in 'Your Shout'. However, some articles never make it this far, or they do make it online, but there is no opportunity to comment. Curiously, an unusually large proportion of the Sark articles have the comment facility disabled. I wonder why? If I were to indulge in conspiracy theories quite so readily as Kevin Delaney, I might, erm, suspect a conspiracy... are the Guernsey Press so fearful of letters from the lawyers that they won't even allow moderated comments on these pages?

Pyrausta aurata

2010-08-01T19:55:00.006+01:00

The second in an occasional series of, erm, moths. This little fellow (?) appeared on some mint in the garden this morning, which according to the very excellent UKmoths is the preferred food for the larvae. Watch this space for more exciting moth pictures. Well, it makes a change from ranting about Kevin Delaney.

I read it so you don't have to

2010-07-31T20:48:00.006+01:00

I apologise for returning so quickly to the unpleasant topic of Kevin Delaney, but he has been in overdrive this week, beavering away in his underground bunker to produce a Sark Newsletter so unremitting in its bile that it's a wonder Kevin is not overcome by toxic fumes. To save you the unpleasant business of actually reading it, here is a brief summary:

Page 1: lots of ranting about Conseiller John Hunt and his alleged accomplices in the great poster conspiracy. Kevin's still hurting, folks, and he's going to make them pay.
Pages 2-7: lots of ranting, ditto.
Page 8: some pretty pictures of Sark.

Honestly, you don't need more than that; if you really want half-baked conspiracy theories, wild accusations, vindictiveness and downright character assassination, then read the Sark Newsletter for yourself. But don't linger there too long, it's not healthy.

Who is harassing whom?

2010-07-27T20:43:00.011+01:00

That charming man Kevin Delaney has ratcheted up his campaign to win friends and influence people to a level of lunacy that would be entertaining, were its implications not so serious. The full story – from Kevin’s point of view, of course – is available in last Saturday’s Sark Newsletter. Although not previously known for his thin skin, Kevin – whom we must now think of, I suppose, as some kind of delicate, easily bruised flower – seems to have taken quite considerable offence at a couple of posters which were put up around the time that his great ‘winery’ was launched. This is the winery with a consultant who appears to believe it lies on the same latitude as the Loire Valley, a mistake which has been repeated several times now by the Guernsey Press, and which Sark Estate Management has perhaps overlooked. Anyhow, back to the posters. Kevin helpfully describes them in the newsletter, so I think it is only fair to mention them here: one referring to ‘Kelvin’s [sic] Whinery’, and the other to ‘Der Fuhrer’, with – I presume – a picture of dear Kevin. Rather than pull them down and chuck them in the nearest bin, Kevin felt compelled to involve the Guernsey Police. As a result one of the Sark conseillers, John Hunt, has apparently been cautioned under the Protection from Harassment (Bailiwick of Guernsey) Law 2005. Let’s hear from Kevin:

When interviewing the Editor of the Sark Newsletter, the Guernsey police Inspector was very understanding of the fact that this malicious campaign has been causing untold stress. Readers should be aware that these posters are merely the tip of the iceberg - they are the culmination of a long running campaign of hate and systematic attempts at intimidation with malicious post arriving on a regular basis.

‘A long running campaign of hate and systematic attempts at intimidation with malicious post arriving on a regular basis’? Hang on a minute, that rings a bell… The next Sark Newsletter is out on Saturday. Regular as clockwork.

Summer's here

2010-07-15T22:45:00.004+01:00

This evening at the Castle breakwater, with the Condor Express heading off for a bumpy trip to the mainland.

Adventures of Carl Skinflint

2010-07-12T17:47:00.006+01:00

I am not sure exactly what association Lizzie A. Freeth had with Guernsey, though she seems to have lived here in the early 1870s. She is perhaps best known for ‘A legend of Moulin Huet’, which is available online, but this seems to be a rarer work – there are no copies in the British Library or the Bodleian, though the Priaulx Library here in Guernsey has two – and the story it tells has no connection with the island, other than the local printer and the dedication to ‘The children of Guernsey’. Carl Skinflint is a miser who gets his comeuppance from Lightfoot the fairy and his mates, who gather him up in an invisible web and cart him off to Queen Watchoverall. She convinces him of the error of his ways and renames him Carl the Good; he goes home and starts distributing his gold among the poor and needy of the neighbourhood.

It's not quite Harry Potter.

Shark sighted at Grandes Rocques

2010-07-09T17:32:00.003+01:00

OK, it was quite a while ago – 1930, I think, if I’m reading the postmark on the back of this postcard correctly. The writer says ‘This was caught at Grande Rocque, it measured 10 ft, but I read… it had been seen for about a week in a state of stupor’. Poor thing. Maybe it was too close to the sewage outfall. Or it had overindulged at the Cobo chippy.

Tombstoning at Port Soif

2010-07-04T10:37:00.003+01:00

Yesterday evening at Port Soif. Maybe not quite so mad as doing it when the sea is like this.

Poor old Kevin!

2010-06-29T07:59:00.003+01:00

Poor old Kevin Delaney didn't get his expected invitation to Government House, so he made a fuss about it in yesterday's Press. In the course of which he made the comment that 'There is a maturity missing from politics in these islands...'. Kevin is renowned for his highly developed sense of irony and I can only assume that this is another example of it. For the Delaney take on politics in Sark, see www.sarknewsletter.com and make up your own mind about Kevin's maturity. I would go for about 13 on a good day, but I'm prepared to go a year or two either way.

Andy Goldsworthy on Pembroke Bay

2010-06-25T21:44:00.011+01:00

Andy Goldsworthy's creation on Pembroke Bay this afternoon, a wonderful conclusion to the Art and Islands conference and events of the last three days. More of this in Guernsey, please!

The artist taking a last look at his creation before it's swallowed up by the rising tide.

No, that's not Andy Goldsworthy...

4.CC6

2010-06-20T15:56:00.002+01:00

Gull no. 4.CC6 and her (?) spotty chick on Lihou last weekend.

Zygaena filipendulae

2010-06-20T15:52:00.004+01:00

Otherwise known as the six-spot burnet moth, out in force in our fields at the moment.

Portelet

2010-06-13T22:05:00.002+01:00

NO

2010-05-30T21:58:00.005+01:00

No... what?

The fog...

2010-05-30T11:55:00.002+01:00

... in town, last weekend.